Why won't you dance with me?

...because

1. I'm shy
2. my dancing is terrible today
3. my last partner told me everything I was doing wrong, and now I don't really feel like dancing much
4. you're an advanced dancer and I feeling like I'm taking an exam when I dance with you
5. I don't want you to discover that I've temporarily forgotten your name
6. I feel ridiculous when I dance with a woman who's taller than me
7. my boyfriend is watching
8. the dancefloor is a horrible chaos of elbows and high-heels
9. the dancefloor is empty and I don't want to be "the show"
10. my shoe is broken
11. I'd prefer to wait until there's some easier music playing
12. this old honky-tonk music sounds like a gramaphone
13. I've just discovered that my car's been stolen
14. there's only one tango left in the set, so if we dance now, it'll only be for one tango and I'd prefer three or four
15. we just danced the last tanda
16. everyone gives me a hard time when I dance with someone young enough to be my daughter
17. this is the cortina, but maybe when there's some tango playing
18. this music isn't tango
19. this music is so lovely I just want to sit and listen
20. I don't want to be here, but I promised somebody I'd come
21. I promised someone else I'd only dance with them today
22. I promised this tanda to somebody else
23. I only dance if my partner is dancing, otherwise they get in a bad mood because I get more dances than they do
24. I want to dance Pugliese with you, but this is Di Sarli
25. I'm quietly having an argument with my husband
26. I don't dance milonga
27. you always flirt with me
28. you never flirt with me
29. my girlfriend thinks you always flirt with me
30. I'm waiting for my boyfriend to leave so I can flirt with you
31. I promised my husband I'd be home an hour ago
32. I'm watching my teacher dance, so I get that double-wilson-mortal step right
33. I'm watching Phil so that if he gives me the nod, I won't miss it
34. I'm resting
35. my last partner skewered my foot with her stiletto and I'm quietly bleeding into my shoe
36. I've been dancing all night and my feet are sore
37. I forgot to put deoderant on, so I'm only dancing with people who have no sense of smell or can't say "no"
38. I'm allergic to your perfume
39. I'm all sweaty and want to dry off a bit before I inflict myself on anyone
40. I'm eating
41. I don't like the way your wife looks at me when we dance
42. I've just realized I've got bad breath
43. I just ate, and it's not going down well
44. I drank too much
45. I need to go to the toilet
46. I'm in the middle of a conversation right now
47. my phone is ringing
48. I'm pretty sure I just heard people laughing about my dancing, so I'm retreating from the floor for now
49. someone's just taken my purse 'by mistake'
50. your breath smells of garlic
51. you dance that claustrophic "close embrace" style, and I prefer to have room to breathe
52. the last time, you gave me a lecture on my technique, and I'd prefer to do my learning in the class and my enjoying in the milonga
53. your conversation between tangos makes me uncomfortable
54. when you dance with me, I think I can feel a canoe in your pocket
55. I just had a tango-fight with my wife, and so it's not the best moment to ask the most beautiful woman in the room to dance
56. my husband is dancing with the most beautiful woman in the room, and I'm not taking my eyes off him until they're finished
57. you always leave make-up stains on my collar
58. I never dance two tandas in a row
59. I like you a lot, which makes me nervous when we dance
60. I've got a run in my stocking
61. last week you wouldn't even look at me, so I thought I was in the dog box
62. I like dancing with you, but you're in the dog box this week
63. if I dance with you for a fifth set, people will get the wrong impression
64. you're my best friend's girlfriend so dancing with you would violate "the code"
65. because I'm married to you and we can dance at home
66. the parking building is about to close
67. this dancefloor is so full of holes I feel like I'm going to fall into one and never be seen again
68. I don't actually know how to dance tango.  Salsa?
69. I'm in a foul mood for no good reason
70. I bat for the other team
71. who are you, anyway?
72. I'm used to being asked with the nod, BsAs style
73. I'm busy looking at women's legs
74. I'm busy looking at women's shoes
75. I don't speak English
76. I don't like the way women look at me when we dance
77. your woollen suit makes me sweat
78. I'm the DJ, and so I'm a bit busy right now
79. I hate this crappy "nuevo" music
80. I just got here and haven't even put my shoes on yet
81. I've just entered my 'tango crisis'
82. my teacher is watching, which makes me nervous
83. I think I might be having a heart attack
84. there's a show on right now
85. I've got a canoe in my pocket
86. the floor is like an ice-skating rink
87. I put my back out in the last tanda
88. I'm only dancing as a leader tonight
89. I only dance with my close friends
90. I'm waiting for my wife to finish dancing so we can finally go home
91. You are my teacher and you make me nervous
92. I only see you dancing open embrace and I prefer close
93. You are a woman and you lead a lot so you can dance any time you want to
94. We’ve already danced twice
95. I don’t want to make it obvious I’m hitting on you
96. The person sitting next to you keeps on stealing my cabeceo
97. You are always making eye contact with other  people while you are dancing, instead of paying attention to your partner
98. You seem like you're in a bad mood
99. I can't tell you, but believe me it's a good reason - please don't force me to dance by asking me out loud
100. you're a bad dancer

...whenever somebody won't dance with me, I skip the first 99 reasons, and assume it must be reason 100.  Why is that?

text: robert©fromont.net.nz June 2009